Do relationships affect our studies? If so, should we give up our love to focus on our studies? Undoubtedly, relationships may affect our studies, but it could be in a good way or a bad way. It’s up to us how we manage our relationships and studies. The worst that could happen if we fail to balance relationships and studies is jeopardizing both relationships and studies. Hence, to avoid such a scenario, I’m here to discuss the Common Mistakes in Balancing Relationships and Studies. Plus, the tips on how to fix it.
Hello friends, welcome!
Before we proceed, let me briefly introduce myself, I’m Rai from the blog Journey with Atty. I have been a lawyer for eight years now, married to Kyle, a lawyer too. He is my long-term boyfriend, (12 years to be exact ), and now my husband for about five years. Basically, I’m here to share how we successfully managed to study law, take the bar exam and pass our bar exam together, and ultimately thereafter, tie the knot with each other. We hope our story can encourage and inspire people in their journey to becoming a lawyer while at the same time growing and nurturing their love and relationships.
Without further ado. Let’s move on to my list of the common mistakes in balancing relationships and studies.
1. Failing to communicate effectively
Among the most common mistakes in balancing relationships and studies is failing to communicate effectively. When we communicate, it should not just be for the sake of sending messages. Instead, we have to make our communication effective. It means being able to express our thoughts and feelings openly which are accepted and received by our loved ones correctly and understandably.
Some factors that affect effective communications includes:
- Not being honest
- Lack of trust
- Expecting our partner to read our mind
- Hiding feelings
Both you and your partner should feel satisfied with your communication. If you need more study time for a specific occasion, just be honest with your partner about it. Otherwise, it would be a cause of misunderstandings that lead to endless fights and trouble.
We should not expect our partner to read our minds, we owe it to our partner to explain and communicate well. In this way, your connection would also grow stronger.
2. No Time Management
As I have said in my blog 4 Secrets to Balancing Relationships and Studying Law, You need to set your schedule and boundaries as clearly as possible. Setting boundaries ensures that your partner knows what to expect and through this, he/she can also adjust his/her time while giving due consideration to your availability and convenience. You and your partner need to make a schedule of times when you’re both busy and times when you’re both free.
I learned this lesson early when I was still a first-year law student. Kyle and I had this petty fight, and it happened the night before our first exam in criminal law.
We fought through text/messenger, and although, we settled our conflict that night, the fight still disturbed me in the sense that I was not able to study well, and I came to school the next day unprepared for the exam. As expected, I did not perform well in that exam.
It was then that I realized, that had it been that I did not text him during such time when we were supposedly studying, there could have been no fight to speak off. Remember, I did not just ruin my study time alone, but I am also responsible for texting and disturbing Kyle during crucial study time, in the same way, he is to me. I then realized too that I should set some boundaries.
Study time should be study time, my relationship and my studies should have devoted time, respectively.
3. Neglecting “Me Time”
Another common mistake in balancing relationships and studies is forgetting to set a time for yourself. Both your relationship and your studies would be demanding of your time. It can easily overwhelm you, causing you to forget about yourself, your own interests, and your own growth. But trust me, it is so important to make time for yourself too, for your health and well-being, otherwise, you risk burning out.
Yes, while your time together with your partner allows you to build memories and set a good foundation for your love and relationship, your “ME TIME” allows you the space and time to tend to your own mental, psychological, physical, and emotional wellness, which is equally important too, for your own good and the good of your relationship and studies.
A little ‘me time’ won’t harm your studies and relationships, on the contrary, it will sustain you, especially in law school, and improve relationship quality too.
4. Allowing relationships to distract your studies
Your relationship should not be a distraction but a motivation to study and perform better at school. Being in a relationship means having an additional support system which should enable you to be the best version of yourself.
Funny it may seem but this happens to me too. I was one of those lazy students before being in a relationship with Kyle in college. I tend to be absent from class now and then. When we became a couple officially, I became serious about my studies. Probably because I wanted to prove that I could be a successful lawyer despite being in a romantic relationship. As it turns out, I have influenced him too and we helped each other to survive college and law school. Yes, we inspire each other and as a result, we graduated with flying colors in college.
Now, if you find your relationship a distraction, making you unable to study and perform well at school, then you need to reevaluate your priority and your relationship. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your partner, and come up with a solution that would be best for both of you, in your relationship and your studies.
5. Not setting the same goals
It would be too hard to balance relationships and studies when both of you have different goals. You need to be on the same page with your partner. Plus, you need to keep your long-term goal in mind always.
People in a relationship should grow together as a couple and individually. If you have the same goal, you will not have to make any explicit efforts to sustain the relationship, it will grow naturally. Trust me, this is how I and Kyle’s story begins when our paths cross in college. From the very beginning, as we nurtured our love and relationship, we also shared a fervent dream—to become a successful lawyer, side by side.
Your goal and shared dreams would bind you together. It would help you navigate student life in the same direction, with ease and comfort.
Balancing relationships and studies is a challenging task, especially for law students. Chances are we will be drawn so much to either side. Remember, focusing too much on your relationship will risk your grades and studies, on the other hand focusing too much on your studies and neglecting your loved ones would undermine the foundation of your relationship, no matter how strong it is. Well, the good news is, we can have both. If you can keep the right balance, you can enjoy the best of both worlds.
That’s it! Now,
RELATED POST:
4 Secrets to Balancing Relationships and Studying Law
How to best support your partner for the bar exam
The best way to support your partner in law school
5 Reasons Why You Should Marry a Lawyer?
Is there something that you want to talk about? Would you like to share one of your tips and advice with me? 😃
I’d be glad to learn them.🙂
Leave a comment below.👇
