5 Tips and Advice from my personal experience
Is your significant other engaged in legal studies or has he/she recently opted to pursue a legal education? If so, then you have at least an idea of the rigorous and strenuous nature of law school. Are you now wondering what is the best way to support your partner in law school? Here are my 5 tips and advice on how to support your partner in law school in the best way.
Hi there, I’m Rai from the blog Journey with Atty. I have been a lawyer for eight years now, married to Kyle, a lawyer too. He is my long-term boyfriend, (12 years to be exact ), and now my husband for about five years. Basically, I’m here to share how we successfully managed to study law, take the bar exam and pass our bar exam together, and ultimately thereafter, tie the knot with each other. We hope our story can encourage and inspire people in their journey to becoming a lawyer while at the same time growing and nurturing their love and relationships.
Now, if you are wondering and looking for some advice on how to support your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/partner as he struggles in law school, you have come to the right place.
Genuinely, here are my 5 best ways to support your partner in law school.
1. Understand his/her situation and give him/her space
No doubt and question studying law is a full-time commitment. As I have said in my previous blog 4 Secrets to Balancing Relationships and Studying Law it would have put one’s nose on the books for almost all of the available time that he/she has. Hence, the best way to support your partner in law school is to GIVE HIM/HER ENOUGH QUALITY TIME to study his/her lesson.
I emphasize quality time because it’s not enough that you give him/her time but disturb him/her now and then. Your partner would appreciate UNINTERRUPTED time from the world to focus on his/her studies. Of course, there could also be positive distractions sometimes, but as much as possible give him/her space.
It’s important to remember that he/she is under a lot of stress and pressure already. Giving him/her space when he/she needs it is the best support you can give. Accepting the fact that he/she can’t afford to spend the same amount of time with you anymore and letting him/her know that you support him/her all the way is the best thing to do for him/her.
2. Taking the initiative and helping to clear his/her plate can do wonders
Aside from giving him/her the space he/she needs, the next best thing you can do to support your partner in law school is to take over a few of his/her usual chores to clear his/her plate so that he/she will have more available time to study, and maybe, to hang out with you, later on.
I had this experience before when I was still at law school wherein I got sick. I was so stressed not just because I was not feeling well, but because I could not study my lesson too. But I was already running a fever, and on top of that, unfortunately, I was not able to do groceries beforehand. I already ran out of food and supplies. Kyle, who was still my boyfriend at that time, showed up at the door of my pad in the evening after class. He surprised me with some groceries, medicines, and dinner too. Imagine how grateful I was for his initiative and his act of care. I do not know what would i have done if he hadn’t brought the medicine and dinner.
So ask yourself, “What would I do to help my partner?”. You don’t need to do major chores. Simple things such as bringing meals, making coffee, or doing errands that might also be convenient for you will already be a great help for him/her.
3. Listen and Empathize
One thing I’m sure about is that, in his/her studies in law school, he/she will be stressed. There will be times when he/she will question himself/herself if he/she can make it, and might even want to give up and quit law school. The best thing to do is to keep supporting him/her and be by his/her side when he/she needs you. From time to time, he/she will need someone who will listen to him/her talk about his/her stress.
However, do not commit the mistake of forcing him/her to talk about it and risk making him/her more stressed out than he/she already is. For sure, when he/she is free and ready, he/she will talk to you on his/her own. When this time comes, make sure that you are fully present and attentive to what he/she is saying. Show that you are listening carefully, and be nonjudgmental. Try not to make him/her feel worse than he/she is already, and if you can cheer him/her up instead, then, you just did something that would truly benefit not just his/her studies but your relationship for a long time.
4. Be his/her number-one fan and his/her biggest cheerleader
Compliments and encouragement are free, why deprive your partner when he/she deserves it, after all? Encourage your partner as often as possible, and in every chance you’ve got.
When we were a law student, Kyle had this habit of leaving sweet messages to me. Most of the time it was a message cheering me up, to do better, and complimenting me whenever I did well too. He usually writes it on a piece of paper and puts it in my stuff. Usually, he hides it in the pages of my book for me to see whenever I open my book to study. It was a simple gesture but it was enough to put a smile on my heart and motivate me to focus and perform well in school. All these sweet messages, cheers, and constant encouragement remind me of my strengths and abilities. It fuels me to perform well knowing that I am not alone in my journey, and I have someone backing me up.
5. Stay busy and healthy and have your own support system
I intentionally included this on my list because I believe that staying healthy and busy with your life and having your own support system aside from your partner will sustain you in the long run in your plan to support him/her in his/her studies. Undoubtedly, to support your partner, it would be best if you are in good and healthy condition too. I mean not just physically but emotionally and mentally. Hence, while your partner is busy building his/her future and improving himself/herself, why not focus on improving yourself and your well-being too?
Truth be told, your partner longs for a time when he/she can freely be with you and have fun. You have to believe me on this, even if he/she is busy with his/her studies, you also occupy a space in his/her mind, not just his/her heart. Yes, he/she worries about you too. I know it’s the last thing that we want to happen because we want him/her to focus and be successful.
Trust me, seeing you in good condition is already a big help for him/her. You are giving him/her the peace of mind that he/she needs to be able to focus on his/her studies. By doing this, you keep him/her away from being more stressed out than he/she already is. So try to keep yourself busy in the meantime he/she is studying and he/she will be inspired and motivated to study too, knowing you understand him fully well, you are coping healthily, and you will always be by his/her side no matter what. Trust me, he/she will love you more for that.
To reiterate, in order to support your partner in law school it is best:
- Give him/her space for quality study time;
- Help with chores to free up his/her time;
- Provide a listening ear without pressure and judgment;
- Cheer him/her on; and,
- Stay healthy and busy to sustain a stable support system.
That’s it!
Now!
Is there something that you want to talk about? Would you like to share one of your tips and advice with me? Or perhaps, would like to share your experience with me too?
I’d be glad to learn them.🙂
Leave a comment below.👇
